In an effort to be more creative I decided to write in a purple ink and change up my font. Last week one of my patients told me I wear a lot of purple. I was surprised.  I guess she sees something I hadn’t myself.  What was she seeing in me? Something creative?   As women it is important we remain creative in our lives otherwise we can die.  Not physically but emotionally.  Women who are involved in relationships whether it be friends or lovers must never stay if those people try to “put out” her creative fire. It may sound extreme, but it is reality. The reason it has to happen is her life can depend on it. If her psyche dies, it will not be long before her physical body will break down.   In the story of the little Match Girl,  she dies from living in fantasy rather than figuring out how to warm herself. Her creative energy dies.  She also dies in the cold but the important piece is she loses herself in fantasy rather than warming herself.  Something that would have saved her life.  One part of the version I read is that no one will help her.  She accepts less than she deserves.   Many times a woman in “bad” relationships will “ warm”  herself with a fantasy that she  is in  a good relationship.  However, she may be put down, told her dreams are unimportant or  held back financially by her partner.

If I stay with  a partner who puts down my creative efforts, because of his insecurities,  than I am in a sense allowing myself to freeze in the cold.  It is not his fault he is insecure, but it is mine for allowing him to be unkind.  In my office, frequently, women will blast the men and women of their failed relationships.  I tell them it is ok to be angry at them, but lets also look at why you stayed, which is of far more importance (to understand) for their emotional growth.

It s hard when we discover we may be “a little match girl.” However, it’s what we do with the information that matters the most.

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