
I have been in private practice now since 2008. I had a practice prior to becoming a parent from 1998 until 2004. I worked for healthcare organizations during my years away from private practice. Over the years, I have come to know that my true love lies in private practice. It is because I can deliver the type of patient care that I think is medically necessary or appropriate for the presenting problem.
Maine, the way life should be
I live in Maine. One of the most notable companies in Maine is L.L. Bean. Their policy has always been “the customer is always right.” In private practice, “the patient is always right.” There are exceptions of course to any situation, but in general I must acknowledge my patient’s feelings. If my patient brings something to me about how they felt about an interaction in a session, I have to acknowledge that they are right. Their feelings are valid 100% of time. A lot can be learned from these sessions where they felt I had hurt them or made a mistake. It gives me another opportunity to open the door into psyche. Because we are all wounded so differently, I have no idea what can cause such a reaction until it happens. If I said something that wounded my patient, it is 100% my fault. I have to see my part in what happened and learn from it.
Corrective emotional experiences
So once we determine something felt bad for my patient, is has to be dealt with in that session. It may require more than one session. Sometimes it can take months to get past. The first order of business for me is a Mea Culpa. This is by definition an acknowledgement of one’s fault in a situation. Next we have to peel back the layers of how we got to this place. Where has my patient felt this pain before? Was it with their mother? Their father? Both? It is my job to help make this better. My hope is by working this through I can offer my patient a better emotional experience than they had growing up. I must help my patient learn that it doesn’t have to end the same way it did when they were a child, rendering them feeling powerless. We hopefully can move past the hurt. Sometimes we can’t and unfortunately therapy may come to an abrupt end.
Venezia!
The picture at the top of this post is from my recent trip to Venice, Italy. I took this after sunset from a water taxi on my ride back to the train station. I would say Venice is the “city of love.” Our patients need emotional love from us. That means understanding their deepest pain and acknowledging when we have hurt them.
Ciao for now.