When the Past Knocks
In the past few weeks, a couple of people from my earlier life reached out—an old friend and a former colleague—each message arriving within days of the other. It made me pause. This time of year often brings a natural turning inward. We take stock of our lives, wonder how we’ve changed, and remember who stood beside us during difficult periods. Sometimes the relationship was brief or imperfect, but meaningful all the same.
As I sit with this, I’m aware of how grateful I am for the life I have today. It isn’t perfect; no life is. But it is good enough. And lately, that phrase has felt especially true to me.
The Power of “Good Enough”
In my work, especially with patients who lean toward perfectionism, I often remind them that perfection isn’t the goal—nor is it even possible. What matters is being good enough: good enough parents, good enough partners, good enough employees, good enough friends.
This idea comes from British pediatrician and psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott, who introduced the concept of the “good enough mother.” He observed that when mothers respond consistently—but not instantly or flawlessly—they actually help children develop resilience. Those slight, tolerable delays teach a child that frustration can be survived. They learn that imperfection does not equal abandonment, and that they can manage difficulty without falling apart.
Letting Ourselves Be Human
I think that principle applies long after childhood. We can allow ourselves to live lives that are real instead of polished, grounded instead of perfect. We can show up with presence rather than performance. We can let our connections be meaningful even when they’re not seamless.
And maybe, in the end, that is more than enough.