Newsletter and Soup’s on

I will periodically be  publishing a  newsletter. My hope is to provide some interesting topics in Psychiatry and Psychotherapy. I will also be discussing lighter topics on occasion to mix it up a little.  I find the fall to be a time for change, hence my now publishing a newsletter.   The summer has come and gone. I see the leaves changing on the trees. The white hydrangeas start to go from white to pink and finally a deeper rose color. The grass begins to brown. It all signals the fall season is coming. I generally start making soups in the fall. A new favorite soup of mine is a squash soup with Massaman curry and coconut milk. Massaman curry is a rich and flavorful Thai curry that is mildly spicy. I will post the recipe for the soup later in this posting. Soup can be deeply comforting at times. We have an expression that chicken soup is like “Jewish penicillin.” I don’t think that there is a time when I am sick that I don’t want chicken soup.  So why is soup so magical?

Potato, Potata

The origin of soup is debatable. One source said it originated in 20,000 B.C. The first soup was hippopotamus soup.  Soup was designed to keep one full and aid in digestive enzymes. During illness because it is liquid it helps to keep us hydrated. Maybe when the winter months came and less abundance of crops were to be had it helped keep people alive? I honestly don’t know but there is plenty to learn from how food was prepared many years ago. Cantonese culture makes soup a first course and Friday night’s at the sabbath dinner table, Matzoh ball soup is the second course after the blessing of the challah and wine. It clearly is part of many traditions and cultures.

Here come’s the Soup

I find soup comforting and a way to have a meal that seems less fussy. Sure it has to be made, but once it is done it can easily be stored for days in the refrigerator. I enjoy making soup because it leaves my house with wonderful aromas. I especially enjoy coming home and smelling a slow cooking soup when I first walk through the door. During the fall finding what brings us good feelings can be helpful as we head into the darker months of the year. Walking, gathering with friends or cooking can help us feel more connected.  My hope is to stay more connected  through my “new newsletter.” 

Here is the recipe I promised:

(please do not eat if you are allergic or sensitive to any of the ingredients)

Squash your choice, I used butternut and buttercup. I did not peel it, but remove seeds.

1/2 large Onion 

3 Carrots

4 Cloves of garlic 

One can full fat coconut milk

One small can Massaman curry paste or less if you want less heat.  

One chicken broth box

3/4 cup lentils (I used red lentils this time)

Salt ( I didn’t salt it but up to you)

 

Cut the squash into large chunks along with the carrots. Slice the onion and mince garlic. I sautéed everything together until they were soft and garlic added flavor. Transfer to crockpot. Add the coconut milk, Curry paste and chicken broth. After it heats up a little I add the lentils. I cooked on high for two hours and then put down to low for three hours. You could do on high for four hours straight or eight on low, depending on how you want to cook it.  Then use a hand mixer (I used an immersion blender) to blend everything together.  Here is mine with  some Chinese broccoli.   

 

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It’s All Greek to Me

I seemed to get away from blogging this last year as life took me in some new directions. I still have my private practice and have focused almost entirely on psychotherapy. I now only provide online services and I also had personal matters to attend to.  One of those matters was getting my only child off to college. My son decided to head off to college out of state. This left me with mixed emotions. On the one hand. I was excited that he had decided to venture out of state  while the majority of his friends stayed close by. On the other hand I knew this meant less visits home.  He was ready to “fly.” He reminded me of myself at that age. I chose to go to college in Boston while most of my friends went to the University of Maine. What made this most difficult for me was how hard it would be to send him off on his new adventure. I knew that I wanted nothing more than for him to have an exciting life, but it would also mean redefining myself as “not someone’s mother.” Basically, I was out of a job. I had focused so much on him for the last 18 years that I had almost lost track of how to live as my previous self. Where had this “previously enjoyed” woman gone?  Could I find her again? Could I bring her back to life?

Who will I become?

 The question I had to ask myself was, “who am I if I’m not his mother anymore?” Of  course, I’m still his mother, but I’m not the mother that he needs like he needed in the past. He no longer needs me to tell him what to do or how to do laundry or make scrambled eggs. He’s now a man.  He is still my son, but who am I and  and who will I become. I’m not exactly old, but I’m not the young woman I was when I became a mother.  I am much smarter now about life, less anxious and  I find myself enjoying the quiet in my home.  

Hello, it’s your mother calling…pick up!

The first two weeks he was away at college my son was very busy,  so there was not much time to even catch up. I wanted to know how his classes were.  He seemed to think I was like a mosquito buzzing around his head that he wanted to get rid of.  What made matters worse for me was the “local mothers” kept going back to the dorm  room and bringing all kinds of things.  I could not do that living so far away but I would not have.  It was time to let go. It was time to let him figure out what he needed without me “making suggestions.”

It’s good to feel good

After several weeks of him being gone, I can finally say that I feel like we’re both headed in the right direction.  I’m not sure why it hit me so hard. I might have been in denial all summer because I didn’t seem to be bothered by his going away. I think what was the most difficult for me was imagining my life back as a childless woman. I was no longer childless by definition, but my life would revert back to a previous time.  While, I relished being on my own for many years, it was very enriching to  become a mother.  It was the hardest and best thing I have ever done.   My life became more full than I could ever have  imagined.    Last night on our weekly call he told me he  wants to come home this weekend, and while I’m fine with it,  I’m already picturing my house being a mess again, a pile of laundry on the floor, and all my favorite cold drinks gone before I get one sip. 

Napoli, Napoli, Napoli

Last spring I traveled to southern to Italy. It was the most amazing trip I have ever been on and my plan is to  go back within the next year.  I was there while a championship  soccer match was evolving. Napoli had never won, and I had the good fortune of witnessing history.  Napoli had a history changing event.   As I navigate my own life changing event, I know I will find the calmer waters.

Stayin’Alive

We all remember the Bee Gees’ song from the 1970’s movie Saturday Night Fever. Who knew the phrase would have so much meaning almost 40 years later? I certainly didn’t. Fever was now something to be feared. As I have aged another year and have more gray hair to prove it, I find my body feeling older each day. 57 wasn’t that hard of a pill to swallow. However, the stress of the pandemic certainly added more than one year for most people emotionally. We learned new ways to shop, to mask and to love. Hugs were no longer allowed unless someone was in your “bubble.”

To vax or not to vax, that is the question

Then came the question of vaccine or no vaccine. I became a doctor long before I became a psychotherapist. I am not afraid of needles at all, but this was a new vaccine unlike any other. BUT COVID-19 was also a virus unlike any other before it. I was lucky in that being on the medical staff of a local hospital gave me the opportunity for vaccination back in February .There is no doubt in my mind getting vaccinated was the right decision for me. I will always support my patients decisions on what they feel is right for them. Sometimes that can be hard because I have to leave my own bias’s and opinions out of the therapy room. I can’t say I haven’t made that mistake in the past. I am far more conscious of how important it is to let my patient decide what is right for her.

I hope you Dance

I hope you all have remained healthy and safe. I  am personally feeling very hopeful  now that the numbers have dropped again.  If you have a fever may it be caused by dancing to some good old music!

Dreamweaver

If you grew up in the 1970’s like I did. You would know that Dreamweaver was a song released by Gary Wright June 1, 1975. It has been used in movies and played numerous times on the radio. I never appreciated the song until I was much older. Since doing more work in my own therapy over the years I have come to learn that dreams tell us so much about our non-waking lives, aka “the unconscious.”

Does the shadow really know?

Dreams tell us something about our lives that we don’t know. Like whether or not to change careers or move to a new home. Or how we might still be hurting ourselves through the negative relationship we have with ourselves.  For example dreaming about being abandoned might be trying to explain how we abandon ourselves. Our shadow can also show up in our dreams. In jungian psychology the shadow is thought to be an unconscious part of one’s psyche that we don’t readily identify in ourselves. For example the “not me.” If I am like myself, a zoftig blonde women in her fifties and I dream of a red headed thin woman in her 20’s it would be a shadowy part of myself. In my waking life that is definitely “not me” but in my non-waking life she is alive and well.

Get on Board the dreamweaver train 

Dreams interpretation requires skill and patience. Writing dreams upon wakening is the best way to ensure the accuracy of our recall of the dream. I tend to use a voice recorder for my dreams. I then print it out and write any associations in the margins. The two questions I pose are “why this dream now” and “what is this dream trying to tell me about my life today?” Another fun way is to draw or paint a dream. Seeing what images arise on the paper can be really helpful with the interpretation of the dream. In the next few months I will be starting a dream group. It will meet twice a month and will be limited to 8 to 10 members. It is not a psychotherapy group. It is a group where members will help the dreamer interpret the dream through non-judgmental feedback.  Check out my FB page for updates!

What the world needs now…

When I was quite young (one to be exact) Burt Bacharach composed a song. It was called, “What the World Needs Now is Love Sweet Love.”  It was released on April 15, 1965. Yes, I was born in ’64 which technically makes me a boomer. The song is just beautiful. This morning I was reminded of how much when the students at Boston’s Berkley School of Music posted a virtual edition of this. It moved me to tears. It also got me thinking about how much we do need love right now.

Frontline is not just doctors and nurses

I woke up today had my daily dose of caffeine and did some thinking about how this all feels. I slept good, still feel healthy and can smell and taste food. Ahhh, another day with out this dreadful virus. I have been staying at home except for a grocery run early last week so I am likely OK. I cruised my emails and came across a post from a neighborhood message board. Someone posted how awful it was that a grocery person at our local chain had tested positive for the Coronavirus. She was angry and had some harsh criticism for the market. I find the lack of care and compassion right now hard to take. The grocery workers have put themselves at great risk every day for us. They are not high wage earners and are under tremendous stress.

Compassion needed STAT!

We all need to be compassionate with ourselves, our neighbors and the essential workers on the front lines which extends beyond doctors and nurses. I will try to post a link to the music, but I am so new to this website it may take me a little bit.For now I leave you with a painting I painted in 2014. I rehung it in my kitchen today to remind me that we need love sweet love to get us through this difficult time.

Waves of Emotions

During these uncertain times it is not unusual for my patients to feel different emotions in very short periods of time. I hear mostly of anxiety. However, I also hear of sadness and feelings of loss and grief. Even as my patients stay healthy physically the emotional toll the COVID-19 Pandemic has inflicted is quite high. We mourn for the people who have died. We mourn for the families who have been inflicted with economic hardship. I know some of my patients will sail through this seemingly unaffected and others who will be deeply affected for a long time. Each patient is dealing with this differently. I have to listen and meet my patient wherever she is.

Create your  immediate future

Dealing with different emotions can be scary and exhausting. Because the future is so uncertain it is important to create the future we need in this moment. If there is a picture that needs to be painted get out the paints and start painting. If that yarn has been sitting in the bag since it was purchased get those needles going. If there is a book you have been wanting to write start writing. If my patient is feeling helpless she can take back some control. Life will feel less helpless if she can determine even the immediate future.

Staying Connected Matters

I am seeing all of my patients each week via Telehealth. I am happy that the hour they come we can stay connected. Staying connected is so important right now. If you are not already in therapy, it can start now. If you feel alone it can help you feel that someone is there for you week after week.  Relationships are what will help us get through this emotionally.

I’m your Venus

 Take good care of yourselves. On another note, if you look at the evening sky in Portland, Maine Venus is very bright tonight. I think this is symbolic for the brightness that needs to shine over all of us right now. Be well, stay safe and stay home!

How are you doing?

We are now about two weeks into the COVID-19 Pandemic. Maybe longer but I’m not paying attention to the actual date it was decided this is a pandemic. I am doing this out of self preservation. I try to listen to news once per day and  not too close to when I go to sleep for the night. I have moved my practice to Telehealth and telephone. Thankfully the insurers have agreed to cover both. In the beginning there were some adjustments but it seems to be running quite smoothly.

Homeschooling is not my forte

Taking care of ourselves will be most important as this unfolds. I ordered new visual journals for myself and my son. I will be curious to see what comes out creatively at a time of great anxiety and uncertainty. My son who is 15 is now homeschooling. He told me he is not worried about getting COVID-19 at all. I guess that’s good. I don’t want him to be afraid at such a young age. I do encourage good eating, sleep and exercise for him. He seems pretty happy and we can both still laugh a lot despite the City of Portland stay at home order. I have seen very funny video clips about mother’s who “are not home schooler types.” I would have to say, it is not my forte either. I am lucky he is in high school and can get into his Google classroom on his own. I am also lucky he can help with our chickens.

Start a virtual community

There are many ways to deal with the stress from this strange new way of living. Meditate daily even if it is for ten minutes. Get creative through art, clay or other mediums if you can. Start planning a garden. Exercise outside. Now that temps are in the fifties it feels glorious! Watch movies or shows on Netflix. Start virtual communities for things like knitting. Have a virtual dance party. Staying socially distant doesn’t mean complete isolation. Take good care of yourselves and stay safe! 

Stay Calm and Keep Your Distance

I made the difficult decision to increase social distancing in my private practice. As a whole, we must do this to flatten the curve of new infections from the coronavirus. Right now, if we don’t our health care system and workers will be over whelmed. I felt I needed to do my part and have moved my practice to a HIPPA compliant video tele-health platform. If this creates a hardship for anyone in my practice I am asking you to call me and we will come up with an alternative plan. My hope is this will be short and we will resume our face to face meetings once things have settled down.

Worrying Increases Cortisol Levels

Staying calm is something you can do to boost your immune system.  Stress and anxiety increase cortisol levels and is not good for our immune systems.  Good self care is very important right now.  Meditate, knit, bake, paint or watch movies. If you can, stay connected with loved ones.  If watching the news heightens your anxiety-turn it off!  Stay calm and wash your hands!

 

COVID-19 Guidelines for Established Patients

Today at around 3:45 p.m. President Trump declared a national emergency. He has restricted any laws that would not allow me to provide Tele-Psychiatry to all of my patients. I am currently giving my patients the choice to see me via HIPPA COMPLIANT video platforms. If patients still want to come to the office they may  only come  if they do not have any of the following symptoms: fever, cough, runny nose, difficulty breathing.  They may also not come  if they believe they have been exposed to the Coronavirus within the last 14 days. I will continue to  reassess the situation over the next two days to determine if I will move to Tele-Psychiatry entirely.

This is not Fake News

 

This is very big news and thankfully it lets me continue to provide the best care to my patients during this very difficult time.  If you are a current patient and have any questions or concerns, or are unsure if you should come to the office,  please call me or contact me via the contact page

Stay Tuned!

. 

High Anxiety

Sometimes in life, we can get very anxious about things. I try not to worry about things that have not happened yet, but how do we do this when every day on the news we are hearing of a potentially fatal virus?! I have no idea of how this whole COVID-19 (aka Coronavirus) will go. I have no idea who will get sick or how sick they will get. What I do know is I have to breathe and do the best I can to take good care of myself and my family. In my practice I speak often about trait vs. state anxiety. Trait anxiety is when it is in the background all the time. State anxiety as in what is  going on with this whole COVID-19 business.

Surprisingly no one is talking about it

Oddly, not many of my patients are talking about it. It was the same thing with 911. My patients seemed to continue to focus on their lives. It got me thinking about being in therapy helps when there is something big going on in the world or even locally. Is there something protective about  already being in psychotherapy? Therapy helps you to feel cared for in so many ways. Just knowing that someone shows up for you week after week is comforting. There is so much more to being in therapy than solving problems. It truly is about the relationship. Many years ago I gave a talk about psychotherapy to a large group of mental health professionals. I described the various types and how they differed. At then end of my talk I said that the most important thing was the relationship with the therapist and not so much the type of therapy being done in the office. Much to my surprise I received an evaluation that said I was reckless and basically a crappy Psychiatrist because everyone knew that this one type of therapy (I will leave nameless) was the best blah, blah blah. The person also said I was irresponsible because there were students in the audience and how could I teach such garbage?! I still to this day believe what I said many years ago at that presentation. The bottom line is the relationship between therapist and patient. So many of my patients felt uncared for growing up. I do care about them and their lives. How could I not?

Preparing for distance therapy

Another issue that may arise is I may have to see my patients via Tele-Psychiatry. I have done it before, like during snowstorms and it works just about the same as face to face. So I am here and I know my patients feel a sense of relief knowing we have a plan in place if it should move to that. My hope is that if it  should come to this that there is no disruption in our work. We will get through this. My other hope is it passes quickly and we can all resume worrying about other things in life like whether Tom Brady is coming back to to New England!

Wash your hands and don’t touch your face!