Knitting again and other mid-December Ramblings


This weekend I picked up my knitting needles again. It had been so long since I had knit something. It’s also been a while since I last blogged!   I purchased this yarn over a year ago.  That tells me how I have been neglecting the things I enjoy. One ‘small’ reason was I was having to re-certify  my Psychiatry Boards which I can gladly report I completed and passed. I started the process in June and finally finished several weeks ago.  This was round three.  It was different this time in that I was able to read 30 articles and pass mini tests.  It was a lot of reading but I would say this was better than sitting for the 3 to 4 hour exam.   Every 10 years we must re-certify although the requirements are changing.

Glad I was finally able to pick up my knitting again and just relax. I am taking a few days off each week because of the mid week holiday’s. I don’t like to use vacation time during the winter months, but I will gladly take it.  Knitting for me is meditative. It lets me sit on the couch and get lost in thoughts or if my pattern isn’t too hard I can also binge watch shows I have wanted to catch up on.  I encourage my patients to take time for self care. So whether it’s knitting, painting, yoga or whatever suits her I encourage my patients to do as much as they can. Life can get in the way sometimes of good self care. It is important we make sure we find the time to nourish ourselves.

On another note I got to go to Star Wars with my teenage  son.  I was in shock he went with me because my mere existence embarrasses him. Thankfully, his friends couldn’t go and he really wanted to.  Mom win!  The movie was great but these few and far between moments I will cherish forever.  I love that I got to spend the afternoon with him like I used to when he was young.

Have a happy holiday or few days off!

Moving doesn’t have to hurt. But sometimes it does.

The office has moved.  As I was leaving my assistant  asked me if I felt sad at all.  Surprisingly, I have no sad feelings about leaving my current office space.  She replied with ”that means this is the right move for you.”    She was right.  In the past when I have felt  angst about  major life change, I still knew it was the right decision for me.  So is this a function of maturity or was it the right time to move to a home office?  Or as I go through more changes they become less “big” for me? The space I have created to go to is very much the way I want it to be.  The colors are new  and fresh.    In the past I had to fight with landlords to give me new paint even when I would  agree to  a three year lease.  I usually got back, well then I will just have to charge you more rent.”  No, thank you!  So maybe for the first time the space is exactly as I want it.  

Sometimes we make decisions because we know it is best for us. It can still be excruciatingly painful. That doesn’t mean it is wrong. We must always look at why we let our lives go  down a path that in the end would hurt us so badly to move on from. It is my job to help my patient deal with the pain initially  and then  to help her see she was the one who led herself to this place.   It is easier for me to see when  I am sitting in the therapist chair. It has taken me a very long time,  much of my own therapy and looking at my own pain to understand this.  My job is really to be with my patient as she goes through the pain.  I am never really sure how it will go but that is ok. 

I am very excited about my new space and as soon as my teenager son wakes up from his 12 hour beauty rest he will help me post a picture of the new space.  For some reason I can’t get the picture upright. Thank goodness he had computer stuff in middle school.  He usually says, “mom, you just have to do this”  and in one felt swoop he makes it all better!

New Beginnings

It’s hard to believe summer is almost over.  Today it was actually 80 degrees. However, I know in several weeks the chill in the air will return in the early mornings.  I know this because I get up and let my chickens out pretty early. 

This summer has been a busy one for me. I am studying for my Psychiatry boards again. I will be certifying for the third time.  Not my favorite thing but it has to be done.  I am also moving my office to my home. 

 I have had mixed reactions from friends, colleagues and even my patients. When I was a resident so many years ago, most of my faculty in Washington, D.C. had home offices. It was much more common.  I have been busy (and stressed) renovating my home. It is going to look very different from my current space. Even the colors are different. I had yellow walls in the past and now I will have white with blue gray accent walls. I bought new comfortable chairs and I am making the office more analytic and less medical.  I believe it is because I am moving into a different phase of my work.  I am also over fifty now.  My life is changing. I have a teenager who is heading to high school. He needs me less and less.  I know I will be refocusing my energy to pursuits I had to abandon when I became a mother.  So in a sense this is a new beginning.  I am excited beyond belief about having a home office, but I will also have some sad feelings about saying goodbye to the office I have spent so much of the last 6 years occupying.  New beginnings can happen at any age.  It’s when we embrace them rather than avoid them they can be wonderful. 

 Hope you have a good end to your summer!